Thursday, November 29, 2012

What is it with people named Chelsea this year? Chelsea Hoffman battles for dumbest Chelsea of 2012

Just as the Shiitake Awards is getting ready for its annual offerings, we have one last entry. Enter Chelsea Hoffman. We already have a Chelsea Schilling (who is worth less than a Shilling) and now we have Chelsea Hoffman.

Normally I reserve this category for REAL journalists, and I use that term loosely, but I generally mean an established media outlet-- CBS for example-- and not internet-only so-called "independent media" life the Huffington Post, which has a lower standard of publishing than the average newspaper.

But for this clown, I'll make an exception. She's quite the egomaniac and shameless self-promoter. On her self-titled website, she says this about herself:

Crime analyst, profiler & aspiring criminologist Chelsea Hoffman offers her insight on a seemingly endless number of high profile crime cases as well as cold cases that the media has forgotten about... Life hasn’t always been one of packed schedules of juggling full time school with full time advocacy and blogging for victims of crime. Chelsea Hoffman has walked on both sides of right and wrong living as quite a “miracle” type of story.... To put it bluntly: Chelsea Hoffman has been inside the minds of various criminals and knows just what makes them tick. She has the hands-on-experience that many people don’t, who have only been exposed to these types of personalities through case files, police reports and written letters.

Is she implying she's an ex-con? Just curious. At any rate, Hoffman fancies herself a great crime writer.

I have to disagree. See one of her more recent articles on that great *cough*crap*cough* independent site known as Gawker:

Absconded sex offenders are always a cause for worry in cases like these because the mere act of failing to register shows a disregard for the law and lack of respect for the safety ordinances put in place specifically for criminals of their caliber. Of course, if they're failing to register, then chances are these individuals won't be too easy to find either.

While Elizabeth Collins and Lyric Cook remain missing, it's important to consider that anything could have happened to these two girls. It's easy to immediately suspect a registered sex offender for their disappearance. However, it's more statistically common for someone acquainted with the girls being responsible than a random RSO -- unless of course their acquaintance is an RSO. Whatever the source of their disappearance may be, it's hopeful that law enforcement and FBI agents figure out what happened and either bring these girls home or give the family the closure they need.

I took the liberty of underlying two of Hoffman's errors. Failure to Register cases are rarely about "disregarding the law," as a Levenson study has shown those who FTR are no more likely to recidivate than those who register. Plus Hoffman assumes the presence of an RSO in the family means the perp is an RSO, but studies have proven time and time again that by far, most sex crimes are done by those with no prior records.

Maybe Chelsea should consider another line of work. Writing is obviously not her forte. Neither is researching. See some of her wonderful reviews at for her novels, for example. Maybe she should get a Shiitake just for that:

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Seriously Lacking...December 1, 2011
This review is from: Ladykiller (Kindle Edition)
I originally saw this book being advertised on another website, where the author had written a news article. I was instantly excited because, I like these types of books and am always looking for a new author. What had me so greatly intrigued with this, is it's written from the killers perspective.

However this book sorely disappointed me. What promised to be graphic and not for the faint of heart. Left me laughing at the description. A mention of blood spray here, cracked skull there and a beating. But nothing major, nothing that gives the reader the creeps, nothing that will make this book memorable, and nothing that will keep me up at night.

The author made the book fast paced, but in the process left out a lot of details and made things painfully 'short'.. The dialogue, while trying to emphasize on the main characters education, or lack-there-of, made it an equally painful read. And lets not forget the poor editing skills. I found quite a few BASIC spelling errors, which again, took away from the story completely.

By the end of the book the dialogue was easier to read but it was still painfully short and lacking in detail.

Save your $$ on this one.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Negative stars should be an option...March 9, 2012
This review is from: Ladykiller (Kindle Edition)
This author has got to be self published there is no other explanation for how this book could get into circulation. This is train-wreck, about a third of the way through I decided to stop torturing myself and I suddenly found myself wishing it was in paperback so we could at least salvage it as toilet paper or line a bird cage with it. I would have happily purchased a bird to poop on the pages of this book. Clearly the positive review on this page are the authors friends or someone she is blackmailing.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

1.0 out of 5 stars Not a thrill for sureOctober 4, 2012
This review is from: Ladykiller (Kindle Edition)
I thought I would give this Author the benefit of the doubt and try another of her books. I read "The Stranger" last week. Not great. This one was a little better but I wouldn't recommend it as a great read to anyone. Self publishing is rough. A writer should NEVER think they can edit their own
stuff and have a great read, no matter how smart they think they are. No offense, just being honest.

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars At least put some effort in itOctober 24, 2011
This review is from: The Stranger (Fear Chronicles Presents) (Kindle Edition)
The writing is mediocre-to-bad. It reads like cliched fan fiction. It is stereotypical horror.

And the book itself -- it's like no effort was put into the formatting. There's not even a space break between chapters. The entire book is one sentence, followed by one half-sentence. Impossible to read with this formatting.

Just bad.
1.0 out of 5 stars The StrangerOctober 4, 2012
This review is from: The Stranger (Fear Chronicles Presents) (Kindle Edition)
I hated it! I read it through just because I love finding errors. Format was unorganized and writer was run on............and on....and....on........sorry ;-/
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Thank you for your feedback.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Emily Miner wants to boot a so-called "sexual predator" out of school. One small problem- the target of her angst is a 9-year-old kid

How do we know she's not
hugging a future child
sexual predator?
This is Emily Miner of Oswego, NY. Emily is hocking a petition on titled "Keep a Child Sexual Predator out of our schools." No she means a "CHILD sexual predator." No, she means a kid she calls a sexual predator.

A nine-year-old kid.

Here is the petition in a nutshell. And I emphasize the "nut" part. Now I have seen it all.

Petitioning Oswego City School District, Oswego, NY 
Oswego City School District, Oswego, NY: Keep a child sexual predator out of our public schools.

Petition by
Emily Miner
Oswego, United States

Earlier this year a 9-year old boy attending Kingsford Park Elm. was removed from school stemming from incidents where he sexually assaulted several of his class mates. The boy was charged with crimes that if committed by an adult would constitute First Degree Criminal Sexual Act, a class B Felony, and Endangering the Welfare of a Child, a misdemeanor. The city school board, faced with the decision of how to continue to educate the boy, has decided to simply move him from KPS, the school he was attending, to FPS, another city school on the other side of town. I think the school board to remove this child from public schools. The school board needs to take this more seriously. By simply changing schools for this boy they are putting even more children in harms way of a SEXUAL PREDATOR. Please protect our children and remove this boy from the public schools.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

KATU of Portland, Oregon is keeping Portland Weird... and stupid

Oregon is usually a nice, quiet state, but they are not without the occasional bouts with Predator Panic. Not so with the local media. After all, Portland media gave those idiots at Perverted Justice air time. Now KATU continues the trend. We already have Anna Canzano's nomination in, but I think now, this entire news station is Shiitake-worthy.

Below is just one of the many reasons why. And if that's not enough, they even added a link so you can find more treatment providers to harass.

Parents battle church over sex offender meetings near school
By Thom Jensen KATU News Published: Nov 15, 2012 at 6:47 PM PST

Parents want Sonrise Church to move its meetings for sex offenders to a different location because a public grade school is right next door.
HILLSBORO, Ore. – Parents have been fighting for years without success to get a church near a public grade school to move its meetings for sex offenders.

They say they've run into roadblocks trying to get this sex offender meeting to move. They say they've been trying for at least three years to convince Sonrise Church, where these registered offenders meet, to move the meeting far away from any schools.

Additionally, some of these sex offenders will actually start living at the church within the next month, KATU News has learned.  

The motto at the church is "A safe place to hear a life changing message." But parents who have children right next door at Quatama Elementary School question that message.

The church holds a service every week and as many as 120 registered sex offenders attend. 

"This like having an AA meeting in a bar," said parent Shannon Jones. 

It's about 60 steps from the church to the school, a distance that can be walked in just over a half-minute.

Parents want the Hillsboro School District to notify everyone about what's going on and "help us communicate to families right in this area that might not know," said Marcy Tell.

But they say the district refuses.

A district spokesperson says the district takes no position on the issue and that it has a good relationship with the church.

Employees at the church were resistant to speak to KATU News Thursday. But a pastor said he won't move the services. The church was there first, and he said security guards are at the church to protect kids.

Parents question his truthfulness because of something that happened at another church seven years ago.

Pastor Jerry Mettee filed a false police report in 2005 saying he was stabbed by a burglar when, in fact, he stabbed himself. But the church and district said there hasn't been one incident involving offenders and kids.

"You can't undo something after it's already happened and make it all better," Jones said.

Jones, also a survivor of childhood sex abuse, says she doesn't want that first incident to occur, and that's why she's going public with her concerns.

Parents also question the relationship between the district and Sonrise because the church donates up to $5,000 a year to the schools.

They also want state laws to change to outlaw these types of offender meetings and treatment centers near schools.

Thom Jensen found out about this story through a news tip. If you have a story for any of the “On Your Side” investigators, email them at

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

California's Prop 35 will turn consenting adults into sex offenders, then force them to register internet passwords

Californians voted in favor of Prop 35, a silly bill that is intended to punish "sex traffickers." Problem is, by sex traffickers, we generally mean consensual adults engaging in sexual activity in exchange for financial compensation. In other words, prostitution. So those busted in prostitution will be forced to register as sex offenders. Then they'll be forced to turn over their internet names as well, violating anonymous free speech provisions.

California rejected Prop 34, which would have saved taxpayers millions by commuting death penalty offenders to life w/o parole, yet they pass Prop 35, spending millions to turn consenting adults into dangerous "sex traffickers." And dumb Californians wonder why they are billions in debt.

Here is a site that explains why Prop 35 is such a bad idea:

Monday, November 5, 2012

Former state legislator, principal James Thomas convicted of sexual contact with student

I don't know what his track record is on sex crimes, but I don't recall any dissenting votes when Alabama passed the Adamned Walsh Act. But a pol is a pol and we have a special place for them here at the Shiitakes.

Former state legislator, principal James Thomas convicted of sexual contact with student

The Associated PressBy The Associated Press 
on November 02, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Former Rep. James Thomas trialFormer state legislator James Thomas in the courtroom with his attorney Lewis Gillis in Camden, Ala., earlier this week. (AP Photo/Dave Martin)
CAMDEN, Alabama — Former state Rep. James Thomas has been convicted of a charge of having sexual contact with a student. He was acquitted of a felony sexual abuse charge.
The 69-year-old Thomas was charged with having sexual contact with a 17-year-old honor student in his office at Wilcox-Central High School in Camden in November 2010.
The victim, now a 19-year-old college student, testified that Thomas kissed her and forced her to touch his "private parts."
Circuit Judge Jack Meigs ordered Thomas immediately taken into custody and set sentencing for Dec. 13.
District Attorney Michael Jackson said Thomas will have to register as a sex offender and won't be able to continue as principal. He has been on administrative leave for the past two years while he awaited trial.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Sheriff Alan Norman wants registrants to pay him to waste his time

 Meet Sheriff Alan Norman of Cleveland County, NC. He wants to make registrants pay $242 per year so he can feed his Krispy Kreme addiction. Oops, I mean harass the registrants in his community. Considering most registrants are unemployed, I doubt they can buy donuts for themselves, much less for Stormin' Norman.

Here is the cop's info in case you feel the need to blast him for his stupidity and tell him man up and pay his own way:

Office Telephone:
(704) 484-4788
(704) 476-3047

Address: P. O. Box 1508 Shelby, NC 28151-1508
Email the Sheriff:
Sheriff's Web Site:

Sex offender list growing

Rebecca Clark
By Rebecca Clark
Published: Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 11:14 AM.
Two men in uniform stepped onto the front porch and rapped sharply at the door.

"Sheriff's office," the deputy announced.

A man answered the door, and officers spoke with him briefly before moving on to the next house on the list.

Every year, the sheriff's office makes surprise visits to the homes of registered sex offenders to ensure they are in compliance with registration requirements.

Cleveland County has 234 registered sex offenders, with 24 currently in prison, said Sheriff Alan Norman.

Norman said that number has been steadily increasing in recent years.

"W e've increased from 180 four years ago to 234 today," Norman said.

He said state law requires law enforcement to check on the offenders once a year, but the sheriff's office chooses to do the knock-and-talk at least twice.

Norman said deputies planned to drop by unannounced Wednesday, on Halloween, and check on about 60 of the more dangerous registered offenders.

"It's something I feel like we need to do," he said.

Who are officers visiting?

Norman said deputies would be focusing Wednesday on a group of offenders that fell into one of four categories: aggravated offenders, or those who have been convicted of using force and/or the threat of serious violence while committing a sex act with a victim 12 years or younger; recidivists, or repeat offenders; violent sexual predators; or sex offenders who are transient and move from one home to the next, making it difficult for law enforcement to keep up with their whereabouts.

"This is something that I felt like I wanted to do also, to check these four categories," Norman said. "It's sort of two-pronged. We're doing it this afternoon when our young youth will be out knocking on doors asking for candy and also...I thought it would be a good idea to check those categories for the most violent offenders to make sure they're in compliance."

Norman said when doing the checks, he pulls resources from the Community Oriented Policing division, school resource officers, as well as patrol officers. He said administrators would also be staying late Wednesday until each address on the list had been visited.

'A full-time administrative job'

A full-time administrator at the sheriff's office spends about 70 percent of his time working with the sex offenders on the registry.

Norman said every six months, each of the registered offenders who are not incarcerated must check into the sheriff's office. Those who are newly convicted must be registered and go through a series of questions.

"We need a bill introduced where these predators pay local municipalities, local sheriff's office to look after all these sex offender registrations," Norman said. "When you get to these numbers we have in the county, it's a full-time administrative job. We shouldn't have to subsidize out of our budget.

He said he feels the registered offenders should be required to pay for the drain on manpower.

"I'm going to be contacting local legislator Tim Moore to see if these individuals can help subsidize the cost to the sheriff's office," Norman said. " If they paid $242 per year, it would cover the cost of an administrative assistant to cover looking after the sex offender registry."