Right now, Ron Book is looking at Cecilia Celeste Fulbright and thinking, "Why didn't I use that excuse?"

This has to be the dumbest excuse for drunken driving I've ever seen, even dumber than Ron Book's excuse. I bet Ron took notes on this for the nest time he rear ends a guy in a Lambo. 

https://wacotrib.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/affidavit-drunk-driver-who-rammed-car-claimed-to-be-chasing-pedophile/article_5989fa98-49fb-5db1-a5f2-2cef7a42e009.html

Affidavit: Drunk driver who rammed car claimed to be chasing pedophile

Kristin Hoppa Aug 13, 2020 

Waco police arrested a 30-year-old woman Wednesday morning on driving while intoxicated and aggravated assault charges after she chased at least two cars and intentionally crashed into one, later telling police she thought she was chasing a pedophile who had kidnapped a girl, arrest affidavits state.

Officers arrested Cecilia Celeste Fulbright, of Waco, at about 10 a.m., after she crashed into a barrier near the gas pumps at H-E-B on North 19th Street, police reported.

A driver called police at about 9:20 a.m. to report a small red car had chased them on North 19th Street but that they were able to get away, according to the affidavit.

About 20 minutes later, another driver reported the red car was chasing her and that the driver, Fulbright, was yelling at her and rammed her car multiple times before the caller pulled into the H-E-B parking lot on 19th Street, the affidavit states.

"Ms. Fulbright pursued (the driver) through the parking lot striking her again and an uninvolved Dodge Durango before Ms. Fulbright crashed into a cement pylon at the gas pumps," police reported.

The other driver was uninjured.

When officers arrived, Fulbright was in her car "crying hysterically" and yelling that the other driver "was a pedophile and had kidnapped a girl for human trafficking." She said she rammed the other car "because she believed she was saving a child" from a pedophile she followed from Speegleville, but her account "did not match the timeline or any facts or evidence," the affidavit states.

She appeared to be "delusional" and under the influence of drugs, and a breath test showed her blood alcohol content was between 0.21% and 0.217%, more than double the legal limit of 0.08%, according to the affidavit. Officers reported they found "multiple cans of spray paint" in Fulbright's car. She said she had at least one beer but denied using other drugs, according to the affidavit.

After medical clearance, she was taken to McLennan County Jail on a second-degree felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and a Class A misdemeanor charge of driving while intoxicated. She was released by Thursday on $11,000 bond.